Trials and Love- Does God really love me?

As I said before, Satan is dead set on taking us out!  We must be wise to this… to his tactics and lies.  Too often, we let our defenses down and get sucker punched my Satan!  How did Jesus deal with Satan?  He used the TRUTH!  “you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”.  Lies = bondage,  Truth = freedom.  Our Creator hard-wired us for freedom but we seem to confuse freedom with independence.  When we choose independence, going our own way, we are in essence choosing bondage. We “think” we are free because we are doing our own thing and being “true to ourselves”.  Being true to our design would mean walking in relationship with our Creator and not going our own way.  As trials and lies come our way, knowing the truth is vital to our freedom!  And not just knowing it but believing it in our hearts.  I am learning more and more that a life truly lived is lived at the “heart level”.  Head knowledge will not get us through the tough times!  But, operating in “heart knowledge” will insure that we live as we were intended= truly free in Christ.  For it is impossible to really be free apart from Christ!  I like to think of it as one of the Spiritual laws!  So as the trials of the last 6 years began in earnest I bought into the Lie that God was punishing me and that His love was conditional.  My heart won out over my head!  I really did not believe at a ‘heart level’!  So, when does the transfer take place?  When do we go from head knowledge to heart knowledge?  I think it is different for each of us. I believe that, to the extent that we were shown unconditional love as children, will determine how well we “get” Gods love.  If Gods love was not modeled in the home we will be “walking wounded” unable to truly feel loved and thus vulnerable to Satans biggest lie…. that God does not really love us…… “but, God demonstrated His LOVE for us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”  …….. And a true father, a loving father, disciplines His sons and daughters!  So, I believe our hearts must be healed before we can truly know at a heart level the Father’s love.  “Heal my heart Lord so that I can freely receive and give your love away”.  For without love, real love we are all clanging cymbles and harsh gongs!  Remember, love is a verb!  “For God so loved the world that HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON”.  Thanks Abba!  I love you too!