My Dilemma – Living from My Truest Self
If I say I am a writer- people love to know a writer it seems. It sounds so romantic and Cush A dream job! The thing is … I don’t have a contract or “book deal” as they say. But I do write. It is a part of who I am. I am also a counselor. Yes, that is a part of me as well. Hmm, ….. A Mystic- yes ! I most definitely am that! John, who wrote the Gospel of John, was the first of the New Covenant Mystics as far as I can tell
He referred to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. He was most comfortable with that title! The object of Jesus’ love!
You see, I am a lot of things to a lot of people. But, like John, I am not comfortable being titled with anything else than…. The disciple whom Jesus loves. That is my resume! My truest identity… My truest me. Knowing and living in this reality frees me up to really live! To receive and give His love! To be free from a works mentality that most of us struggle with!
It is the best way I know to starve “the poser” within. The one I “lived” through for 50 years! Half a Century! Yikes!
I never again want to live through him! I am dead to him and alive through Jesus. So when the Lord sees fit to raise me up and let my righteousness and cause shine for Him-Psalm 37- I want to be known by no other identity. It is one of my “safeguards” from stealing any of the Glory due the Giver of “All Good And Perfect Gifts”.
James 1:17
17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
You see, when we are fully alive to the glory of God like St Ireneaus says, it is because we have died and Christ is shining through us! It’s not us- it’s not our “Light Show” but the Eternal and Glorious Saviour shining through us!
Now, knowing Satan like I do, I know he will accuse me of false humility and anything else he can come up with. He does not want us to live in the the reality of the Gospel of Grace. He loves it when Gods kids are striving and posing – living by the worlds standards of what’s important. When we participate in this “madness” , he’s won! He loves nothing more than when Gods children are deriving their identity from any other means than our relationship with the Father through the perfect work of Jesus on the Cross.
Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
Colossians 1:7
27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
In closing, If you are deriving your identity and purpose by anything other than the following statement, you are not truly living!
“I am created in the glorious image of my Heavenly Father and my sole purpose is to live in relationship with Him through the perfect work that Jesus did on the cross. That apart from this perfect good news, and my acceptance of this free gift by His Glorious Grace through the perfect gift of faith, I am lost, blind, naked, lame, deaf and living in the darkness of my sin. Without hope of the Life He intended for me to live. I will only be truly satisfied and alive when His love and presence are what I desire more than anything else! There is nothing I can do to earn or deserve His love! I am completely and perfectly loved – the object of His delight and affection! On the flip side- there is nothing I can do to lose His love, delight and favor. All I need to do is receive it by grace through faith- simply as a child receives from his or her daddy! ”
I love this prayer, taken from – Beautiful Outlaw- by John Eldredge
For only when we know the true Jesus, can we begin to know His love and walk in our true identity – as the disciple whom Jesus loves!
Daily Prayer
Jesus, show me who you really are. I pray for the true you. I want the real you. I ask you for you. Spirit of God, free me in every way to know Jesus as he really is. Open my eyes to see him. Deliver me from everything false about Jesus and bring me what is true.
Live, Laugh, Love- Jonathan
